In memory of David James 

Catherine Godridge talks about the death of her son David, having to rebuild family life and the fundraising event they held in honour of their son.

 

At 1.41 on Saturday 20 April 2002 David James was born at home, weighing a healthy 8lb 4oz. Colin and I were ecstatic, our third child had finally arrived 10 days late. He, of course, was beautiful and settled in to our family straight away. Ebony and William loved him to bits too and we spent a very happy five months together. Then disaster struck. I went out to a school fundraising evening on Friday 27 September and Colin looked after the children. It was the first time I had left David and he was with his dad. I arrived home 11ish fed David and then we went to bed. The following morning I thought it was strange he had not woken up for a feed in the night but thought perhaps he had slept through for the first time. He was in our room, and at 6am when I awoke I found him on his back fists clenched. I screamed at Colin that he was dead and his reaction was ‘don’t be silly’.

 

The next couple of hours were a blur. Colin went in the ambulance with David while I stayed at home with Ebony and William waiting for news that he was okay. The ambulance came back for us within the hour and took us to A&E. I was greeted with the news that they had done everything they could but he could not be resuscitated and was pronounced dead.

 

We didn’t take it in at first and when the nurses asked if we wanted them to call anyone we said no, somehow that made it not seem real. After a while I asked them to call my vicar and he came straight away. Then we had to tell both sets of grandparents and shortly after, they arrived. I remember being given David and I just cuddle him for a long time. Two police officers arrived and told us they would have to go to our house and take away the cot bedding and as it was a sudden death there would have to be an inquest.

 

After five wonderful months our lives had been turned upside down. I blamed God so much I couldn’t understand why it had happened. We came to realise it wasn’t gods’ fault just the way life is! We had had such a happy day three weeks before when David had been baptised and we’d had a lovely party.

 

All day we were numb and I can’t even remember what Ebony 7 and William 4 were doing. On the Monday morning we had to go to see the coroner’s officer and make a statement when it was explained to us that an inquest had been opened and a post mortem would be done within the next couple of days. I must stress that at no time were we made to feel under suspicion and the dealings with the police and coroner were positive if you can have a positive experience in such tragedy.

 

The following week passed in a blur will’s 4th birthday spent crying and the funeral the following Monday was awful. Needless to say sadness encompassed the whole family but with very strong family and friends we found a way through.

 

In January 2003, I discovered I was expecting another baby I was petrified But I remember 3 weeks before I had little Max, Will said to me ‘does this mean you will be happy again mummy’. This really hit home and I realised that Ebony and Will needed me more than ever.

 

The inquest was 8 February 2003 where the verdict was sudden infant death. The paediatric pathologist said he was perfect in every way and this could not be explained.

 

Following the birth of Max in August 2003, I’ve had counselling, Colin had a nervous breakdown and finally Alex was born on 21 May 2007 to make the family of four we always wanted. Max was on the CONI scheme, as Alex is now to help with night times. Both of us have changed jobs, but five years on we are happy and a stronger family, so we wanted to do something in honour of David, our third child. We decided to have an open house, bouncy castle, tom bola, face painting, drinks, cakes and many other activities which raised £1219.67 for FSID. We were absolutely amazed.

 

David will always be part of our lives and we know that in his short life all he ever knew was love.

 

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