This page commemorates the precious lives of babies who have died as cot deaths.
These were created on our old website and unfortunately it is no longer possible to make changes to these pages. If you want to change your tribute in any way, or to add photos, you can recreate this tribute on our new In Memory microsite. If you have any questions then please email the website manager.

In loving memory of
Donna Jean Mary Chapman
11th September 1987
15th December 1987

my darling beautiful daughter
how much we love you so
but god needed a special angel
so he chose for you to go
my loving arms fell empty
so many tears fell down my face
i wanted god to choose me instead
for i wish i could take your place
although so many years have passed
since the day you passed away
my pain is still heart wrenching
and i cry even to this day
your graveside is so pretty
although no stone to bear your name
those who stole your headstone money
should hang their heads in shame
i will always love you
my little angel in heaven above
though only in my arms but a short while
your forever in my heart,my love.

loveingly remembered by your
mother and brothers bernie,jamie,
perrie,jordan and reece xxxxxx

sleep peacefully our
little angel


donna jean mary chapman
11th september - 15th december 1987
became an angel aged 13 weeks

i have to say goodbye
although it feels so wrong
and my heart is breaking
because it is no longer strong

god has taken you away
i never wanted you to go
for you are only 13 weeks old
oh how i love you so

crying desperatly in the church
your tiny coffin oh so near
all i want is to hold you in my arms
and watch you grow year after year

in the 13 weeks you were with us
i felt so much love for you
but now you have gone forever
i will never cope with loseing you

bernie has lost his little sister
and he loved you so very much
he always gave you slobbery kisses
he stroked your cheeks with tenderness

this is painfull my worst nightmare
the hardest thing i ever had to do
for im standing by your tiny grave
saying a heartbroken goodbye to you...

........................................................

Baby Kian

I would like to share my experience as a Grandma. My daughter Rebecca and her fiance Liam were due to have there first child, not knowing if it was a boy or a girl made it exciting on the day. On October 3rd 2005 at 7.11pm Rebecca give birth to a beautiful boy 6lb 1oz Kian Robert Liam McCarthy I know for them it was the proudest moment ever but for me as a Grandma I cant explain how I felt being a proud mum myself looking at them both crying with joy as they looked and held kian and I was saying to them both its all over now you've got a baby boy to love and hold. As days went by all the normal things were happening ,cards flowers, Friends and relatives all calling to see our new arrival to our family, baby Kian. I phoned her everyday to see how things were going and to see how my first Grandson was doing. On the fourth day the midwife came to see Kian ,she said he was looking a bit pale so she phoned the Doctor to come and have a look at him, the doctor came that day and checked Kian over which she said he was a healthy baby but just had pale skin so as you do you think nothing of it.On the fifth day or should i say on the fifth night kian didn't wake up for is feed, paramedics came, tried everything but couldn't bring him back. I got the phone call off Rebecca at 5.o'clock that morning I just ccouldn't believe it a perfect healthy baby would be taken from us like that so soon we were all devastated we cry everyday thinking why.

The coroner's report said he died of an abdominal tumour which didn't show on any of her scans, because it was hiding behind his liver, where still waiting for the final reports and there are lots of questions to be answered.

My heart aches when I see them crying that's what grandmas feel it too we had the funeral and as funerals go it was perfect we asked everybody to bring a white or blue balloon so when we buried kian we all let the balloons go all at once for our final goodbyes it was very emotional. Each day is getting a little easier, but god, we miss him. We only had him for five days but they were happy five days and I'm glad we had them than not at all

I just want to say a big thank you for letting me share baby Kian who we will never forget and always miss x x x



Born on 3rd October 2005
Feel a sleep on 8th October 2005

...................................................

My first Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below,
with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tears,
for I am spending my first Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.


..............................................


Little Sunshine



With your smile so broad
and your eyes so blue
why did he have to send for you

A piece of me has gone forever
but only up to heaven
were you can keep it forever.

Emily Jay Forbes
8th June 2005- 17th September 2005

RIP Angel
Lots of Love
Auntie Kirsty

A Gentle Passing

A gust of wind
Passing through the trees
Through my hair and
Away from me

A small stone rolls
Down a hill
Slowly softly
And away from me

A silent humming
I can hear
It passes through
And away from me

Then like the sun
Rising and falling
Emily was given and taken
Away from me

I am hurting and
I am sad
But part of me
Is kind of kind of glad

She is safe
From all the
Terror, horror
Pain and suffering

It’s not to late
Don’t mourn her
Celebrate



will always miss you
Your loving cousin Anna

...........................................

In memory of
GRANT JOHN ROBERT LANFEAR
born on 3rd January 1988,
who fell asleep on 31st May 1988 aged 4 1/2 months.

You were my first born baby and after 17 years I still miss you as much and think of you every day. You now have 2 sisters & a little brother who know all about you. Goodnight, but not goodbye. I will see you again my sweetheart. You will always have a special place in mummies heart.

I love you.
MUMMY XXXXXX

.............................................

In Memory of Victoria

born 2nd November 1978, died aged 9 weeks of SID. Beloved daughter of Bev, and sister to Stuart and Vanessa. God was missing a flower in His garden and He chose you my darling. Missed very much, but we'll be together again one day.

love Mummyxxx

.............................................

Elina Mcmillan Violet Richardson
was born on the 2nd febuary 2003
and fell asleep on the 11th april 2003

elina you are gone from my arms but you will never be gone from my heart you were not only my niece you my godchild as well and i will never forget that. i am missing you loads i think about you every single minute of the day and mostly i love more then words can say

lots of love
auntie laura xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.............................................

My precious nephew
Austin Jacob Wiatrowski
went to sleep on october 17 2003.

We all miss him so much. Everyday is harder because we realize , wow, he'd be walking now etc. .It's really hard to move on but we try to make it with all the beautiful memories he left us. We'll forever love and miss you BooBoo.

love ALWAYS
Aunt Jessi

.............................................

ALEX PETER RIORDAN
JUNE 6TH 1989 TO 22ND DEC 1989

TO ALEX
GONE FROM THIS WORLD AND INTO THE NEXT
BUT NOT FROM OUR HEARTS OR OUT OF OUR HEADS

LOVE MUM DAD
KEELY JOJO AND SASSIE
XXXXXXXX

.............................................

nathan lee whitworth
born on 3.2.97 died on 22.3.97
a little boy send to heaven with the angels
sleep tight little man
xxxxxxxxxxx

IN LOVING MEMORY OF
my precious son

There's not a day that passes
That i don't sit and cry,
And look to heaven for a reason
But still i don't know why.

Couldn't he have waited
Another year or two,
Until you were a little older
and i'd had more time with you

Forgive me, lord i then say,
All these thoughts are wrong,
There had to be a reason
And i know i must be strong.

You're in the arms of jesus now
And know that you'll be fine,
But i wish with all my heart
That those arm's could be mine.

Night, night little man sleep tight
all my love forever

mummy
X X X X X

.............................................

~A little flower lent not given
to bud on earth to grow in heaven~

~TEYLIAH ANNE McKAY~
Born and died 10 may 2004

~This is for you~

These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
Never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant,
for other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me a chance.

You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.

Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on mommy's heart.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
we’ll NEVER truly part.
~To my dear little baby girl, I loved you from the very start, I had great plans for you, but it wasn’t meant to be, your father made a life altering decision causing your death, when you died, I was angry at myself, it was my job to protect you and I couldn’t, i now know that it isn’t my fault, god needed you in heaven to be his special little angel, I think about you every day and I will always love you forever, I miss u so much, I wish u would come back to me, but I know your role in heaven is too important, sometimes I wish I could see you, but I know you will always be in my mind and in my dreams, everyone was so excited we all wanted to meet you and shower you with love, you’re godmother stacey chose your name and bought special gifts for you, I will keep them forever in a special place along with all your clothes and toys and special little things, you were my heart and soul, now your gone no one can ever replace you or fill the empty space inside me.~

~I love you Teyliah~

~This a special poem for my little angel in heaven~

~Mummy loves you~

~When God Calls Little Children~

When god calls little children
to dwell with him above,
we mortals sometime question
the wisdom of his love

For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild

Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold;
So He picks a rosebud,
before she can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
and so he takes but a few
to make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult still
somehow we must try,
the saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Goodbye."

So when a little child departs
we are left behind
must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

~Goodbye~

~I LOVE YOU~

.............................................

Russell Michael Dacre
11th May 1975 - 17th August 1975
Died while on holiday of Cot Death
Baby son of Michael and Rosalind,
brother of Earl and Bonita Dacre.
Our precious Baby son who is always in our hearts.

.............................................

Jacob & Jonti

Feeling a bit brave today and think that its about time my boys got a bit of recognition.

I have a poem that was wrote for my first boy that i lost, 'Jacob,' by Alan Guest. He wrote this after speaking to a friend of mine in Liverpool when she was looking for something to mean she cares when Jacob had died.

I think that after being in my purse for 8 years its time to share.

This is in memory of my beautiful boys who are always with me in my heart and memories

You've just walked on ahead of me
and i have got to understand,
you must realise the ones that you love
and let go of their hand

I try and cope the best i can
but i am missing you so much,
If i could only see you
and once more feel your touch

Yes you've just walked on ahead of me
don't worry I'll be fine
But now and then i swear i feel
your hand slip into mine.

To my boys whom i love and cherish so much
'Jacob & Jonti'
you are amazing purely through giving me the hope to carry on
WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH

.............................................

I would like to add our adoptive grandson to your site.

Three years ago my nephews lost their parents in a road traffic accident.

At the end of July 05 my nephew and his partner became the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy, and they asked his uncle and I to stand in for his mum and dad (my sister) and to be Bradley's grandparents.

We were so touched to be asked and extremely proud.

One weekend we were all full of laughter, as we watched Bradley blow bubbles and grin, then within days he was gone.

He was put to bed as normal, but never woke in the morning, his parents are being so brave.

"BRADLEY"



29th July 2005 - 10th October 2005

You blessed us with your presence
and touched us with your smile
your bubbles brought us laughter
and your gurgles made us smile.

We shall hold you in our memories
and smile at the mention of your name
because you were our grandson
we shall not think of your life in vain.

Sweet dreams our little darling

XXXX
............................................

Gemma Amy Newman



born on the 14.7.05 - Fell asleep on the 8.9.05

mummy and daddy love you so much and our love is for you and only you. You were our angel and god has took you away from us.

love mummy and daddy 




.............................................

I would like to leave a tribute to my Grandson
Nathan James Cooper 



he was born on the 3rd of January 2005 by emergency section I was there when he was born and saw him in his incubator on special care within an hour of his birth he was perfect albeit almost 8 weeks early .. he came home after 4 weeks just in time for his mum's 20th birthday and his sister's 1st.. he was such a lovely little boy so good and rarely cried I have always felt we didnt get enough time with him but then however old he may have been it wouldnt have been enough..

sometimes I feel so cheated and hurt that I can cry just thinking of him..my love for him is still so strong.. If only I could have just a few more minutes with him..

On the morning of 25th of feb 2005 I had arrived at work at 7am and was suprised to recieve a call from my son so early and in those next few moments my world started to crash around my feet

when I finaly arrived at the Hospital I will never forget the look on my Daughters face I knew there and then that my little Man had gone ..

I would like to say that my daughter and her Partner James have been towers for thier Daughter my Grandaughter whom I adore we all as a family have come through so much that it has really put us to the test..

Thankyou Jodie for My Grandaughter Catherine-ann and my Grandson Nathan James Nathan will live forever in my heart

Night Night godbless little man

Nana and grandpa love you

PLEASE GIVE ME 5 MORE MINUTES LORD
I AM BEGGING YOU TODAY
TO GIVE ME FIVE MORE MINUTES LORD
THERE ARE THINGS I NEED TO SAY

I DIDN'T GET CHANCE TO SAY THEM LORD
SO FORGIVE ME IF I CRY
TO SAY I LOVE AND MISS HIM
MORE AS EACH DAY GOES BY

PLEASE PLEASE LORD 5 MORE MINUTES
I BEG YOU AND I PRAY
TO GIVE 5 MORE MINUTES
WITH MY PRECIOUS GRANDSON TODAY

IF I HAD JUST 5 MORE MINUTES
I COULD SAY HOW MUCH I CARE
THEN MAYBE IT WOULDN'T HURT AS MUCH
WHEN I TURN AND LEAVE HIM THERE

............................................

Christopher John Wood
6/10/84-2/11/84

To my darling little boy, today would have been your 21st birthday and there isn't a day goes by when I don't think about you. I only wish that you were still here for us to celebrate with you. I shall let 21 balloons go at 5:14 tonight which was the time that you were born at and send a wish and kisses with them to you up in heaven.

Goodnight and God bless my precious angel. I will always love you and will be with you when the time is right.

Love and kisses always Mum and your little brothers and sisters send there love to you as well.
.............................................

IN LOVING MEMORY OF
RILEY JAMES GREGSON

PRECIOUS SON

THE MOST PRECIOUS MOMENT IN MY LIFE
AND THE GREATEST JOY IV'E EVER KNOWN,
WAS HAVING SUCH A SPECIAL SON
WHO I COULD CALL MY OWN.
EACH DAY I THINK ABOUT YOU
YOU,RE THERE IN EVERY HAPPY THOUGHT.
THOUGH YOUR TIME WITH ME WAS SHORT.
THE SADDEST PART OF LEAVING
WAS NOT THE TEARS I CRY,
BUT THE EMPTINESS INSIDE MY HEART
THAT CAN NEVER SAY GOODBYE.

LOVE DAD XXX SWEETDREAMS SON
& ALL THE FAMILY WHO TRULLY MISS YOU


THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO MY LITTLE MAN! RILEY JAMES GREGSON.

WHO WAS TAKEN FROM US AT SUCH SHORT NOTICE!

BORN 7th DECEMBER 2004
DIED 16th FEBRUARY 2005

FROM ALL YOUR FAMILY
LOVE YOU ALWAYS DAD!
XX WE MISS SO MUCH XX

.............................................

In memory of
Dominic Paul Landon
21.7.72 - 27.12.72
My twin brother died of cot death when we were five months old. We no longer live anywhere near the cemetery where his ashes were scattered and as a family we don't really talk about him much although I know it still affects everyone deeply. I feel pretty mad writing this as I know it was a very long time ago and I didn't know him at all, but I just needed it said that I have always felt utterly incomplete, and there isn't usually a day that goes by without me thinking of what life would have been like had he still been here. I want to thank the SIDS foundation as they were an enormous help to my mum and dad 33 years ago, and I know my mum was so grateful she went on to be a befriender.
Thankyou.

.............................................

thomas marc shraman
fell asleep aged 10 1/2 weeks

our son we always dreamed of to make our family complete
the only boy on my side for three generations all the family was overjoyed especially your grandad allan who wanted to teach you to play football and cricket and any other sport you could mention but it was not to be.
you had been with your dad the previous night out for a walk then he met me off the bus as i dropped your big sister laura at grandma annes.
the next morning they came to take you away when you had fallen to sleep for good but i couldnt cry i had to be the one who told all your grandparents your dad was just numb
grandad allan and grandma margaret came to our house and took us away after you had gone for a ride in the ambulance your dad never stepped foot in that house again its was too painful for him. your grandma anne and grandad steve came then your auntie kerry i finally let the tears flow and in my heart they have never stopped and you are 11 years old now and have got another loving sister abbie and a baby brother alfie who i know you will watch over for me. i know you are getting spoilt in heaven by all the loved ones who we have lost since
you left us on that day one which i relive every morning when i open my eyes and will for the rest of my life.
please dont ever forget how much we all love you and always will

mummy, daddy, big sis laura, abbie and our little alfiexxxxxxxxxx

.............................................

To my beautiful daughter
Luaana
born 19/12/04 died 20/08/05

I love you and miss you. Can still see your dimples.

Love you always Mummy xxx

Thank You

.............................................

KIEL BRETT DENT
Born: 21st June 1988
Died: 7th September 1988
aged just 11 weeks (Sids)

My Darling Little Baby Boy
who brought us so much Love & Joy,
Now resides in Heaven above
wrapped in clouds of Cotton & Love.

My Little Man, I miss you more each & every day, my heart still aches to hold you and the question ‘WHY!’ will be Forever on my lips.
You’d be 17yrs old now & there’s not a day goes by that you don’t creep into my thoughts.
You have 2 sisters Lianne Marie (aged 15) & Louise Chelsea (aged 11) Lianne is your Daddy’s girl & Louise has her own Daddy – Robert, but they share him.
We were told about how many Thousands/Millions there were against ever losing another baby the same way we lost you, but Lianne almost came to live with you in heaven aged 10 weeks and Louise almost came to you at 9 weeks. We had been given a special alarmed monitor to help us hear them breath. Even so, every time they stopped breathing my heart broke a little bit more. I kept them alive by breathing for them on many occasions and I wonder now how I ever managed.

I Love & Miss You more than others will ever know.
Mummy
X
.............................................

My Big Brother Kiel.

My Mum Amanda and birth Father Adrian’s 1st and only Baby Boy.

I have never physically known Kiel, but I have always known of him and if it wasn’t not for him, I wouldn’t be here. Mum said she was told that she would only ever be able to have 1 baby and I believe the reason he died is so I could be born. My sister Louise and I are proud to say we’re Kiel’s sisters. And we’ll meet some day.
Lianne
XX
.............................................

Scott Frazer Bennett
24 Aug 1990 - 18 Dec 1990

Scott, it has been nearly 15 years since you died, yet it still seems like yesterday. You really were a lovely little baby, you were so content, so happy. I remember the day you were born, you were put in my arms and I looked at your little face and couldn't believe you were mine., and even better we shared our birthdays. Now each birthday I have my quiet moment, that few minutes to think of you and say happy birthday. You have three brothers now. They all know about you, and talk about you. But it doesn't take the heartbreak away. My oldest son will always be missing, I will always wonder what you would be doing, what you look like. But I have to thank god that I had you, even if it was just for a short few months. That short few months changed my life forever, and it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

I love you angel, I always will and I will never ever forget you. God bless Scott xxxxx

.............................................

In loving memory of
Morgan Lei Heaton Simpkin

Our gorgeous little girl was just 40 days old. "God must of been running out of angels"



she is a little beauty. we love you, miss you and will never forget you. god bless darling sleep tight
.............................................

In Memory of
Christopher Richard Glyn Eldridge
Born 20th November 1982
died aged 8 weeks on 18th January 1983

I will never forget you and still see my ginger haired second son as if you were here today. Your older brother Phillip now 25 still remembers that awful day all those years ago.

He still wonders why, and has been just as good a big brother two your two younger sisters and brother, now aged 21, 18 and 16.

What a bright sunny January day it was and having settled you in your pram we took the dog for a walk. You were still asleep when we got back so I left you.

Later I knew something was wrong so I went to you in the pram and there you were, no colour in your face. I ran to our neighbour who tried so hard to resuscitate you. The ambulance men were saints, but to no avail. Oh do we miss you, our ginger haired gorgeous son.

Loving memories
To Christopher Richard Glyn never forgotten
Love Mum, Dad, Phillip, Katie, Heidi and Richard

.............................................

In memory of my precious little boy,
Christopher John Wood,
Born 6/10/84 - Died 2/11/84 aged 27 days old.

I was 13 when I had you Christopher but I still loved you all the same. You were my beautiful blue eyed blonde haired baby and I adored every bit of you. When I found you I knew that there was something wrong as you were a noisy sleeper but you were too quiet. I had only gone to have a bath, but when I came back down I knew there was something dreadfully wrong.

I picked you up and ran to a neighbours house with you she tried to resuscitate you but it was too late you were gone. That had to be the worst moment of my life, what was also hard to accept was everyone telling me that you dying was for the best as I was so young. How can a baby dying be for the best? You were born on your uncle's birthday and had so much love bestowed on you it was hard to understand why you died. I don't understand why nobody could explain why a healthy baby could just die for no reason other than SIDS as they put on your death certificate.

On the 6th October it would have been your 21st birthday and I still miss you as much today as I did 21 years ago, your death will never in my mind be the right thing!

There isn't a day goes by when I don't think about you and wonder , what are you like , what would you have done with your life but these tragic things happen and I know that you are safe in heaven waiting for me when my time comes to join you. You have three brothers and two sisters who all know about you and love you as much as I do, you are their big brother and are watching over them all the time.

I can see a bit of you in all of them and know that you are still with me.

Take care my sweet angel I love you and have never forgotten about you,
Love always Mummyxxxx

.............................................

Baby Patrick Vincent Farley.
Born 04/04/1991
Died 13/05/1991
Aged 5 1/2 weeks
In memory of our precious angel,
Who we love and miss from our home.

.............................................

Zoe Alexandra Ainsworth
Born 25th July 1995 Died 30th December 1996
Aged 17 ½ months

In memory of my beautiful daughter and my children’s wonderful sister who tragically was a victim of SIDS in December 1996.

There’s a star that shines so brightly in the sky tonight
It’s my darling daughter Zoe as she waves to me goodnight
She stays upon my shoulder, until I’m fast a sleep
And I know that she is sad when I gently start to weep
And when the night is over and a new day starts to dawn
She is the first to greet me, again my heart is torn.
Her smile is in the sunshine, her tears are in the rain
Her words are whispered on the wind, peace be yours again.
I will never leave you mum, I’m everywhere you go.
I’m everything you look at and everything you know
I’m the perfect fragile petals on a perfect summer rose
And the perfect fluffy flakes which fall as winter snow
I’m the biting winds of autumn and the new life in the spring
I’m the pain that tears your heart apart and the joy that makes you sing
You can never be without me, you should never feel alone
For while I am around you, you’re never on your own.

Zoe Alexandra Ainsworth, what a joy she was, a pleasure to behold, truly an angel. Always smiling and laughing.

You blessed our lives for 17 ½ wonderfully precious months. What memories we have of you darling, your chuckles, your hugs, your kisses and chatter. We miss talking to you, we miss holding you, we miss loving you, we miss you little one, so very much.

The pain never goes away, the ache remains. Nearly 9 years have gone by without you. We have learned to live without you in our world, learned to cope, but a piece of our hearts died with you sweetheart, a piece of us will never recover.

Thank you my darling for all the joy and pleasure you gave us all in your oh so very short life. You lit up our world.

We will never forget you my love. We will always, always love you and miss you.

God bless you always,
With love
Mummy
Xxxx
your brother and sister
Adam and Loren ,who miss you dreadfully.
And your sister Sophie
Who was never lucky enough to have known you but who knows everything about you and who has helped us all to learn to live again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.............................................

Lucy Louise Foakes

In rememberence of our dear daughter and sister Lucy Louise Foakes Who died September 22nd 1986 aged 4 months. Always in our hearts and minds. x x x x x x From Danny, Louise, Catherine, Rachel 

.............................................

Coral Marcus Marley Soden
aged 9 1/2 weeks

The build up to the big day was amazing, is it today? No, is it-no, then finally after anxiously waiting i took Samia to the hospital for our baby to be born. After what seemed hours of breath, calm, breath, calm, Coral was born by emergency caesarian on June 5th 1997 and what a beautifull girl she was. What a rollercoaster of emotions, nerves, tears, joy and then the happiest man alive.

The next 9 1/2 weeks were truly the most amazing moments in my life. Every little cry, bouncing her around the house in my arms, being the proud father walking around town knowing people are trying to sneek a look at my beautifull girl. The response to my voice, her sparkling eyes telling me she loves me, that first gurgly smile-that wonderfull smile, i was so happy.

Then on August 9th 1997 in the early hours of the morning i checked on Coral and knew that something was wrong. Samia was sleeping in our bedroom next door and i shouted and screamed at her to come and see Coral as i was in shock. What happened next is all a bit of a blur. I remember being downstairs in the living room on the phone to emergency services. The lady on the phone had called an ambulance and was giving me instructions on what to do, which i was telling Samia. Then we were in the ambulance, in the hospital, and the next thing i was being told that we had lost her. Our beautifull baby Coral had been taken away from us. The pain, anger, frustration, "its not fair", was terrifying

The subsequent months after were so painfull. The frustration of losing Coral led to arguments, and the anger inside drove Samia and i appart. At a time when we should of been helping and supporting each other we did the opposite. The investigation and handling of the situation by the police was heartless and a disgrace. I understood that having lost my child that the police would come round, but with obviously no training in the delicate matter of sids they made me feel like it was my fault. And when i had to go to the police station for questioning i came out even more angry and frustrated because i really was made to feel like i did it

It has taken me 8 years to write this letter. For 8 years i have locked away all the pain, hidden it in the back of my mind somewhere, just scared. I didn't speak to Samia properly for most of that 8 years, 6 years not at all. I understood also that it was not just me that was hurting and that Nanny, Grandpop, Aunty, all the family were just as upset. We never really spoke about Coral in depth for probably the fear of upsetting each other. And to go through all Corals things that i kept, all the photos, momentos, records, read the many cards and letters of support was unthinkable. For many of those hard times it was easier to forget with a few more drinks.

Well things are changing now, all through the years the love and support from my friends and family has been overwhelming, from day one they have all been there. The support from a special loved one has urged me to deal with things. I was given a FSID support pack which was sent to me in 1997 but never read. The "Grief of Fathers Bereaved by a Cot Death" infomation was almost as if i had wrote it myself, it was so correct. There is no turning back.

Since reading all this information which i was scared of before has helped me so much. I phoned the helpline and "cheryl" was brilliant and made me feel strong enough to speak about Coral. I have now sat down and spoke to my family, a lot of tears but a lot of love and understanding. And i have also found the strength to finally sit down and talk to Samia, a wonderfull mother to Coral, about our baby girl. All these talks should have taken place along time ago, but as i have learned there is no time limit on grief. I am not going to be scared any more and i know there is a long way to go, Coral has changed me and my life forever.

So now i will remember the really good times we had together, the wonderfull 9 1/2 weeks i was blessed with. I will look at the beautifull pictures i have and read all the cards of love and support I can talk more openly with my wonderfull family and friends, and i will always stay in touch with Samia. I found a poem i cannot even remember writing from 8 years ago

Coral was born and placed so high,
Into the arms of a great big family,
She took to the skies like a butterfly,
With impact and grace so beautifully.

Lifes cruel sometimes and its not always known,
Why the light shines on you and leaves you alone,
Under the white horses sits a magical pearl,
I know one day i'll see my baby girl.

Russell Soden (father)

.............................................


REMEMBERING CHLOE REBECCA BURRISSON
2nd august 2004-4th september 2004



A year has passed chloe since you came into the world happy 1st birthday darling and nearly a year since you were taken into gods safe arms you were too special for this world no wonder god wanted you with him you will always be here with us in spirit and in our hearts and dreams 5 short weeks you spent with us were the best 5 weeks of our lives and we remember you with love and joy for the time we had so special, mummy's little angel we all love you and miss you so much sweet dreams our little wriggler mummy and daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


I would like to send this tribute to little Chloe whose 1st anniversary is on the 4th september, i know i don't know you personally Chloe but your mummy and I have become close friends, i will be thinking of you sweetie this sunday, i send you lots of love,hugs and kisses, have fun playing with my boys Daniel & Joseph, and to Rach,Scott Jade & Rees I will also be thinking of you all. with all our love Lisa, Alan, Amy & Hannahxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.............................................

IN MEMORY OF ROBERT LEWIS JACK BORN 14TH FEB 2003 DIED 14TH APR 2003
LOVED AND MISSED BY ALL
TILL WE MEET AGAIN WEE MAN
MUMMY DADDY BIG SISTER BETHANY (4 YEARS)
AND WEE SISTER ABIGAIL (6 MONTHS)

.............................................

Finlay Thomas Carmidy McCaffery



21/6/2004- 6/3/2005

Our beautiful boy - here at last! We knew he was a boy at our 12 week scan - we named him - we knew him before he was born. We waited so long to have you with lots of heartache beforehand. We couldn’t believe our luck-a boy and a girl - a gentleman’s family they say!

A joy from the moment you were born. Big in every way.10lb 2oz on arrival! Big smile, big blue eyes, big personality, and big loud voice - you were just perfect. The opposite of your sister, the image of your daddy, red hair and all! I wondered if you were really mine?!

At four months old, we saw you sleeping, deeply in your bouncy chair Mother’s instinct told me you were too still - I lifted you, shook you and after what seemed like an eternity, you opened your eyes and typically, smiled. After a night in hospital, we took you home. All was well the doctors told us; babies sometimes do that. But the feeling of unease never left me, I had a premonition that I might not be so lucky next time.

Four months later, my instinct was proved right. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew. You were 8 and a half months old a big boy, safe to sleep with me in my bed. But, it was 8.30am - too late for you, not to be climbing on me, to waken me up. It was Mothering Sunday. Your daddy was in Spain, working. It took him twelve hours to get home. He never held you again. His biggest regret. At least I was able to do that. Thank goodness for that extra cuddle daddy gave you before he left.

Thankfully, Heather was staying both of us nurses, we tried feebly to revive you, but it was futile. I knew that. I don’t really remember much after that, but I knew, you had been taken by every parent’s worst nightmare - SIDS. It apparently took me 48 seconds to tell your daddy on his mobile phone that you had gone - one week to the day before your Baptism.

Your hand-made invitations are still in the lovely box Auntie Josie gave us for your 1st birthday. You won’t know that there were nearly 300 people at your funeral - Daddy told everyone how wonderful you were. People travelled from all over the world - even Japan! To say goodbye to you. Even after you died, you had the knack of memerising people. You truly were a blessed gift to us, given such a shortime, but leaving a lifetime of memories and love.

Everyday that passes now brings acceptance a little closer, but the agony of seeing SIDS written on your death certificate, as a natural cause of death, will never leave us. You never really think it will happen to your child. Unfortunately this does still happen, everyday to one family in the U.K - We pray in our lifetime the true cause will be found.

We love and miss you more and more every day Finlay. The house is full of you memories and photos and Kirsty plays in your room all the time. We hope you’re happy and not missing us too much, wherever you are. Thank you for your short time with us if we had to do it all again, knowing the same outcome, we would.

We hope like the things we sent with you-Auntie Josie thought you were so handsome in your kilt and we can see you so much in your cousin Max, who wore it first. Sleep well our darling son, until we see you again.

Lots of love & kisses,
Mummy, Daddy & Kirsty
XXX

.............................................

MARNIE MAE POPE

"Little Chubby"
21.09.04 - 05.11.04

Remembering you on your 1st Birthday on 21 September our gorgeous Marnie. We miss and love you so much. We will eat some messy chocolate birthday cake for you and send you some pretty birthday balloons. We hope you have fun and games with all your little angel friends, especially your boyfriend Ben. We wish you were here with us, but you always, always will be in spirit. Have fun little chubby. With all of our love Marnie Moos, Mummy, Daddy and little sister Ruby xxxxxxxxxxx

.............................................

Arley Jo
5/8/2004 - 4/1/2005
'Our little miracle bonus baby'



We never expected to have you & we cherish every moment we spent with you.
Such a strong personality, you were so noisy & curious, with soft blonde hair & beautiful big blue eyes & the most magical smile, you charmed every one that met you.
We long to hold you & celebrate your first Birthday properly - with fun, presents & joy.
Mummy's arms are empty & Daddy's shoulder is very bare.

Mummy & Daddy love you so Arley-Jo.
XXXX

.............................................

This is a poem in memory of our son
Brett Richard Brocklebank.
Born 28th July 2003 and died 9th October 2003

It would have been his 2nd birthday and we are writing this to let him know just how much he meant to us and how much we love him.

Two years have passed since you were born
Yet our arms are empty we sit and mourn
You have gone out little joy
You should be here with us our little birthday boy
Presents that can't be opened
Cards we cannot send
A party we couldn't throw
God put that to an end
You were placed in my arms 2 years ago today
I looked into your sweet blue eyes I loved you in everyway
We promised to protect you
But were never given the chance
Cruelly taken away from us
Without a second glance
I sit here writing this wondering why oh why
We think of you with so much love
That we just cannot cry
You were our reason for living
A little ray of hope and joy
Until we meet again my darling
Happy 2nd birthday our dear little baby boy.

We love you so much sweetheart, lots of love, hugs and kisses from Mummy, Daddy. Conor and Moley xxxxxx

.............................................


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OWEN RHYS WILLIAMS

My perfect baby boy will be 12 months old on 23rd July 2005. Only I won't be celebrating with him because he died of SIDS in September last year when he was 8 weeks old. I won't be able to invite his cousins, friends and family to his party. I won't be able to buy him special gifts. I won't be able to arrange a birthday cake with his name on it, as I did for his big brother Ryan. Instead, all I can do is visit his grave and sing happy birthday to him there, hoping that wherever he is, he is being spoiled and having a nice time, and maybe thinking about me.

Happy Birthday my baby. Mummy loves you so much xxx

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.............................................

A Ballad for my sister



Hello my name is Megan Halling and I'm 11 years old. Before I was born my sister died when she was 2 weeks old. At school one day we were asked to write a ballard about a sad artical in a news paper or magizine. My Dad did an article for you in Practical Parenting when I was just a baby, so I chose to write the ballard about him and Louise in that article and this is it . Please could you put it on your website, also attacthed is a picture of my sister Louise and my Dad Lee. Thank you.
Megan Halling 11

Why did our Baby die so suddenly?

When my dad kissed my baby sister goodbye.
He never thought it would be the last time.
When he heard he thought it was a lie.
He hoped to get to hospital in time.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

My dad could hear nurses crying.
He hoped it wasn't because she'd been took.
He thought they should be trying.
He could tell she was gone by their look.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

She was dead. Gone forever.
They did post-mortem to find out why.
Mum and Dad would get an answer-Never?
She was gone why, oh why?
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh Why?

They went and stayed with my grand parents.
Waiting for the post-mortem results.
They thought they were bad parents.
Or perhaps unfit adults?
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

They nearly cried every day.
But laughed too.
So friends came and stayed.
The snow reminds us of Louise too.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

Our friend was the funeral priest.
Dad was asked to carry the coffin, he said no.
Because he could not agree in his grief.
He was worried he'd fall in the snow.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

Dad tried to live a normal life.
But it was too painful.
Knowing his was not a dad he could stab him self with a knife.
Even though he loved her wonderfully.
Why did are baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

He was afraid that he would never have any kids.
They just had to wait and wait.
But off course he could not resist.
So soon they had a date.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

Mum had another child a baby boy.
She was happy but she was scared.
So had an alarm to show he breathed- a joy.
It showed she loved and she cared.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

Even though her life was short.
She made us live life to the full.
Happiness and joy she brought.
Because of her our life is never dull.
Why did our baby die so suddenly?
Oh why?

By Megan Halling 7CY AshtonMiddle School

.............................................

LUCY DOLBY
21.07.2004-01.09.2004
happy 1st birthday our little angel love you loads
mummy daddy and leannexxxxx

In memory of my dear little granddaughter
Paris Louise Molyneaux,
who sadly passed away on 10th April 2005 aged just four and a half months old.

God bless little angel,
love nanny & uncle Aaron xxxx
.............................................

Thinking of you on your 1st Birthday
2nd August 2005



Our little man Ben Hannant
(2nd August 2004 - 15th January 2005)

It breaks our hearts to write this. We wish you were here to blow out your candles. Instead, we will let off 12 balloons into the sky at 5.19am and hope you catch every single one of them. You came into our lives and defined the words 'love' and 'happiness'. Twelve months on, you are no longer here... but the love and happiness you brought remains with us and will do so forever

Happy Birthday Ben and we hope you and all the other baby angels are having lots of fun and smiling on your special day
Thinking of you today and everyday. Miss you so, so much

Forever love,
Mummy & Daddy

.............................................

Amanda Rowena Furniss
(31/05/04 - 18/08/04)

You've been gone nearly a year now and i think of you everyday. The night you came into our world was the best moment of my life. I am forever thankful of my sister, Kate, for giving me the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord.

The night you left us you were supposed to stay with me but i couldn't have you. If i had taken you would things be different? The what if's haunt me. Instead your parents took you home and cuddled you to sleep. All i got is a early morning phone call from your father on his way to the hospital. By the time i got there you were already gone. I wish i got a chance to say goodbye.

Mandy, we all miss you so much and if there's one thing i could do over. I'm doing my best to take care of your mother, I love you always.

Auntie Georgie xxxxx
(In memory of the child they put in the ground)

.............................................

Jenni Spiers
In memory of a loving daughter and sister.
Forever in our thoughts.
Love Mum, Matt and Chris.
Born 9 August 1984 Died 10 October 1984

.............................................

Precious memories of Baby
KEATON MICHAEL KELSALL
Born 28th Feb 2005
Died aged 6 weeks 4 days



This is our story...

Keaton was born a healthy baby boy to a loving mom, dad and sister who all adored him. He was exclusively breastfed and in the words of our Health Visitor (HV) ‘continued to thrive’. He was gaining weight at a tremendous rate and in one week he put on 1lb 1oz! He certainly enjoyed his feeds. The day before Keaton died I had taken him to the GP as he had started to vomit following his feeds. The GP was not concerned and said that he was sure that there was nothing wrong with Keaton but for reassurance due to the vomiting he sent us to be given the all clear at our local Paediatric Assessment Unit (PAU). Here again I was told that there was nothing wrong with our baby and was sent home. The following day there was no improvement so I asked my HV if she would come to take a look at Keaton. While waiting for her to arrive Keaton started to cry in a distressed way and was only comforted when I held him close. His breathing became noisy and as soon as the HV arrived she suggested we go back to the PAU. As soon as we arrived a team started to work on Keaton. He very quickly stopped breathing and shortly after his heart also stopped. Even with a team of experts and all the medical equipment and drugs at hand there was nothing that could save our baby and one of the hardest things to come to terms with is there is no reason why.


His Smile

Though his smile has gone forever and his tiny hand I can not touch
I still have so many memories of the one I love so much
His memories are my keepsake with which I’ll never part
God has him in His safekeeping I have him in my heart.
Gone but not forgotten, remembered always with love

Mommy Daddy and Big Sister Elise XX

.............................................

Natalie Cooper
born May 26th 1979 died May 27th 1979
aged 7 hours.

.............................................

my name is leesa hannah and i would like the memory of my little boy displayd on the page of in memory, my son died on the 22nd may 2005 he was 16 wks old 

.............................................


ROBERT LEWIS JACK



IN MEMORY OF ROBERT LEWIS JACK
BORN 14TH FEB 2003 DIED 14TH APR 2003

LOVED AND MISSED BY ALL
TILL WE MEET AGAIN WEE MAN
MUMMY DADDY BIG SISTER BETHANY (4 YEARS)
AND WEE SISTER ABIGAIL (6 MONTHS)

.............................................

Ellie Jo Marson



Born 14th June 2004 taken 7th April 2005
aged 9 months 24 days.

This is a picture of my niece. She would have been 1 year old yesterday (14th June 2005).
We should have been blowing out your candles but instead we laid flowers on your grave. You would have been almost walking and no doubt shouting at your older sister, Natalie for pinching your toys.

I will never forget that Thursday morning when your daddy rang me. “I have some bad news…… our Ellie died this morning” MY HEART STOPPED BEATING!!!!!!.

That day seemed to go on forever, even now I am finding it a struggle to get though just one day without breaking down to cry and asking why.

Natalie still goes to the bottom of the stairs and shouts Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Thinking you are in your room asleep. We have told her that you are a star in the sky and now she goes out into the garden every night to say night night.

We miss you more that words can say!!!! Keep smiling Ellie and remember your family loves you.

Love forever.

Auntie Sarah XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

.............................................

Lucy Dolby



we would like to leave this poem in memory of our beautiful baby girl lucy dolby who passed away on 1st september 2004 next to us to sudden infant death syndrome at just six weeks

There is an angel in heaven, so precious and so rare,
that angel is our daughter the best beyond compare,
we think about you always talk about you too,
but our darling how we wish we still had you.

sleep well my boodifuls. you were nicknamed lady babies by daddy as you are a baby who was going to grow into a beautiful lady, but as your birthday draws in we are just about coming to terms with the fact that you are no longer here with us in person but you are here in spirit and we love you so much. mummy is pregnant again with your little brother or sister. leanne your big sister is looking forward to it again just like she was when i was carrying you. you must always remember that we love you always and we will never forget you, we will let the baby know that they have also got you as a sister and not just leanne. mummy still wears the cross you were blessed in and all the family have still got their shells so when they want to feel close to you they just hold it. when i want to fell close to you i hold your little pink dress and smell it as it has still got the smell of your milk.

we will meet again one day and mummy we give you the biggest hug you can imagine love you always xxxxxxxxxxxxx
mummy, daddy and leanne.

.............................................

Ryan Christopher John Copper-Galsworthy
Born 08-07-88 died 08-03-89.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I miss you with all my heart and think about you every day -your giggles, gurgles and award winning burps are still fresh in my mind and keep me going in difficult times. Love you forever and a day -
sweet dreams Buster -
Daddy. XXXXX

.............................................

Charles Joseph Rogers
Born 02.06.04 – Died 21.07.04

There is something very perverse about a baby or a child dying. Charlie should not have left before I did because that is just not the way it was meant to be….how we all understand it to be. Anyone reading this knows that cot death turns our perceived natural order right on its head. Everything is different now to how it should have been, how we imagined it, how we dreamed it would be. It would have been Charlie’s first birthday today and I find it very hard that we have been denied the pleasures of shopping for gifts for him, and difficult to accept that what we have actually bought him is a wreath. There should have been birthday cards waiting on the mat this morning and not the ‘Thinking of you’ cards from loving family and kind friends. Today, I am more conscious than ever that it is not just the loss itself that affronts us, but their absence continuously affecting that which we had taken for granted….like the chance to celebrate a birthday.

But just for a minute, just today Charlie, I will have things as they should have been .........

Happy 1st Birthday Darling – we love you
Mummy, Daddy and William

.............................................


IN MEMORY OF
Jon - Lee Pack
12/02/93 to 26/08/93


MY LITTLE ANGEL WHO WAS ONLY LENT !

(Twinkle' twinkle my little star, how I wonder how you are. Up above the world so high, you're my diamond in the sky).

Twelve years have passed since you fell asleep, it still feels like yesterday. It hurts me now like it did back then !

I need to say sorry !

Sorry that I was lost in the grief of your daddy dying when you were just two and a half weeks old. I wasn't the mum I should have been and could have been, it hurts me so deeply. I love you so much and miss you more with each day that passes. If only I had the chance to be a proper mummy to my darling little boy. If only I was able to say good - bye, or was able to see you one last time to say sorry.
To let you know 'how much I love you !'.

At least I know that you are now safe in your daddy's arms. Your sister's and brother know that you are the brightest star in the sky that shines at night. You are their Guardian Angel forever in their hearts and never forgotten.

You are loved so deeply and never leave my thoughts.

You have a baby brother or sister with you now, called Jamie - lee who I never had the chance to meet through an 'Ectopic Pregnancy ! I nearly passed away through complications but you and daddy saved me, 'Thank You !'. Baby Jamie died on the 15th of May 2002. I love you and miss you Jamie my precious little one !

Night ' Night Both Of You !

All my love, hugs & kisses
Mummy
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxx
xxxxx
x

I know you are still around, I can see you in my mind, I feel you in my heart !

................................................

Brodie



Id like to make a tribute to my son Brodie Ellis Murphy, born 21st of April 2005 died 30th of April 2005 he was in my life for only 9 days but what a difference those day's made to me and his daddy. He was a beautifull little boy with stricking features like his blonde hair and crystal blue eyes he smelt so sweet and felt so soft a perfect little bundle that fell asleep to be with the angels. If only you were not so small, if only you were a little stronger if only i could hold you a little longer, i want the pain to go away try and forget it all i hear them say but how can we forget the bundle, that came in to are life only to make us tumble. i love you baby always we will meet again!!!

Mummyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

................................................

In Memory of Brett Richard Brocklebank

This is a message in memory of our son Brett Richard Brocklebank. he was just 10 weeks when he died, our precious little boy. I have been writing poems about him to help get all of my feelings out about him. I have chosen this one as I thought it would help other parents who have experienced this same awful way of losing a child.

With each passing day my pain grows more deep
I lie here in bed I just cannot sleep
I think of you up there and I sigh
I wish you were here it makes me cry
I wish with all of my heart that I might
Just hold you in my arms just once tonight
To see you smile just one last time